In order to succeed at slacking, you must hone your ability to rationalize. Rationalization skills are absolutely essential if you want to cope with the various feelings you have as you undercut the productivity of your company. Certain days you will be fed up and angry enough about something that happened at work, that you won’t need any outside forces to keep you on track.
Occasionally though, you are going to feel bad about what you are doing. You’ll be forced into going to some training with your team and realize that you really do like all of these people. You’ll cringe when you think of much they’ve carried you along and how much you’ve deceived them. They a good people and you are taking advantage of them.
These type of thoughts can stop a slacker from reaching his or her full potential and must therefore be squashed as soon as possible.
Ahhhh….now this brings up an interesting occurrence within the common slacker. The slacker is excellent at rationalization. We have to be. There’s no other way to sleep easy at night while knowing the harm that we are doing to the company.
Bob makes twenty grand more than me and I’m training him on everything. I stayed past five twice last week—I deserve these Post It notes from the supply closet. (Ignore the fact that you came in at 10 am.) My bonus and raise were pathetic last year; it was a slap in the face. Did you hear how much Judd expensed with the corporate card? Just on alcohol? That’s bullshit. I deserve some of that. My bonus sucked. I fucking hate this place.
There is always a reason why you are not working and soaking up company resources…it just may take some time to find it. Don’t worry though…you should have plenty of spare time on your hands if you’re doing things right.
